jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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