I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nitโs cock oโclock!
Randomize
