In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
