I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
