To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
