you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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