Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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