can we get nightvision for the apartment?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
