**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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