even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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