what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
