Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
