There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
