We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
