dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
