You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize