I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
