Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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