So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
