I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
