Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
