whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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