just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
