@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
