I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
These tits shall not be calmed
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize