You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
