I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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