Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just high enough for therapy.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize