i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
