at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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