my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So much rum. So many feels.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize