he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
