so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
