Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I would ride that face into the sunset
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
