just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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