great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
