i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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