You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
