Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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