My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
