worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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