Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize