I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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