The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
