i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
