omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
