i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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