if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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