He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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