I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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