I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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