I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
