people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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