using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
