1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
