Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
