I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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