I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
