It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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