you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
