I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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