i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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