He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
