its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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