i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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