what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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